Advertisement
At 62, I'd worn the same "good" dress to every occasion since 2009. This is a letter about the one I finally replaced it with
Six things this ruched maxi dress gets right that fifteen years of one tired navy frock never did, from a Perth mother of the groom who was dreading every photo.
Maggie Whitfield · 62 · Perth, WA · 5 min read
I'm 62, and I want to start with a confession. In 2009 I bought a navy dress for my nephew's wedding, and it has been to every occasion since. Two weddings, three funerals, a sixtieth, a christening and more Christmas lunches than I can count. It was never a dress I loved. It was a dress that was fine, and somewhere after fifty, "fine" became the most I expected from my wardrobe. Then my son Daniel got engaged, and I realised I was about to be photographed for the rest of my life in a dress I had stopped seeing years ago. So this is not a review. It's a woman who finally replaced the 2009 dress, telling you why.
The dress I'm writing about is the Jilliann, a ruched maxi dress from Perth Boutique, a small Australian boutique that dresses women our age. My friend Lorraine, who has never let me get away with anything, sat me down at her kitchen table in Applecross and said, "You are not wearing the 2009 dress to your son's wedding, Mags." Then she found the Jilliann on her phone and wouldn't give it back until I'd ordered it. When Perth Boutique later asked if they could share my letter, I said yes, on the condition I could be completely honest in it.
Here's what fifteen years of "fine" taught me. Somewhere after fifty, the shops stop making things for you. It's either shapeless and made for gardening, or it's made for a 25-year-old on a yacht. So you find one dress that doesn't embarrass you, and you hang on to it. And without noticing, you start standing at the edge of every photo, because the edge is where women in "fine" dresses go.
Mother of the groom is the one day you can't stand at the edge of the photos. I'd had fifteen years of practice at doing exactly that.
The Jilliann is the first dress I've bought since my fifties because I wanted to be in the photos, not out of them. I've now worn it to the wedding, to our fortieth anniversary dinner and to a long lunch in Cottesloe, and I can tell you it comes down to six things.
The ruching does the kind thing
This is the reason I kept it. The Jilliann has soft ruching that gathers at the waist and then drapes away into the skirt. It gives you a waist, which after two children and sixty-two years I wasn't sure I still had, and the gathers do a very kind job on the tummy. Nothing clings, nothing pulls, and I didn't spend the whole day breathing in. If you've ever stood in a changing room holding your stomach in for the mirror, you'll understand why I nearly cried.
Turned sideways in the mirror. Didn't hold my breath. Turned back. Still didn't need to. Ordered nothing else.
Floor-length, so it flows instead of fusses
It's a proper floor-length maxi, and the skirt falls straight and flowing from the ruching. That means no fiddling with hemlines when you sit down, no worrying about legs, and no stockings on a hot day, which in Perth in November is not a small consideration. It moves when you walk, and the effect is elegant without being anything you have to think about.
Walked down the aisle on Daniel's arm, through the vines. Didn't look down at the dress once. Looked at him the whole way.
Soft, breathable fabric for a Perth summer
The wedding was outdoors at a winery in the Swan Valley, and it was 34 degrees in the vines at four o'clock. The 2009 dress would have been a disaster. The Jilliann is made in a soft, breathable fabric, and I stayed comfortable through the ceremony, the photos in full sun and the speeches. I was, I'll admit, the only woman of my vintage who didn't disappear inside to find the air conditioning.
Group photos, 34 degrees, forty minutes. Still comfortable. Still in the middle of the photo, too.
Sleeveless, and I made my peace with that
I'll be honest, because I promised I would. It's sleeveless, and I was worried about my arms. I've spent years hiding them. What I did for the ceremony was throw a light silver wrap over my shoulders, and it looked lovely with the navy. By the time the dancing started, the wrap was on the back of a chair, and I genuinely didn't think about my arms again. In our heat, I was glad of it. If you're a sleeves woman, a little cardigan or a wrap works beautifully over it.
Wrap on for the vows. Wrap off for the photos. Forgot the wrap entirely at the end of the night. Lorraine brought it home.
It stays put when you dance
A mother of the groom dances. With the groom, with her husband, and with whoever from the bride's side has had the third glass of champagne. The Jilliann stayed exactly where it should all night, the ruching didn't shift and the skirt swirled rather than tangled. I took my heels off by nine and danced barefoot, and the dress didn't mind in the slightest.
Danced with Daniel, danced with Ray, danced with a man called Kevin whom I'd never met. The dress did not budge. Neither, frankly, did I.
Six colours, sizes to 4XL, and not just for weddings
It comes in navy, burgundy, black, beige, pink and light blue, in sizes from S all the way to 4XL. It's true to size, so I ordered my usual and it fitted. And here's the thing I didn't expect: it isn't a one-wedding dress. I've worn it since to our fortieth anniversary dinner and to a long lunch at Cottesloe with a pair of flat sandals, and it looked right both times. The 2009 dress went to the op shop the week after the wedding.
Lorraine has ordered the burgundy for Christmas. She says it's "for research." It is not for research.
This dress, against the 2009 "good" dress
Most of us don't really choose our occasion dress after fifty. We find one that's fine, and we wear it for the next fifteen years. Here's the difference, laid out plainly.
Clings in the wrong places
Too hot for a Perth summer
Stops at the knee, stockings or worry
Rides up the minute you dance
Bought because it was fine
Ruched waist, kind on the tummy
Soft, breathable fabric for the heat
Floor-length skirt that flows
Stays put from vows to last dance
Bought because I wanted to be in the photos
About the price
The Jilliann is $84.99 at the moment, in every colour and every size. The website says it's usually $214. I won't pretend I know what a dress like this ought to cost, but I can tell you I spent more than that on the 2009 dress, and it never once made Ray stop in the hallway.
Perth Boutique also take a bit off if you buy more than one: 10% for two, 15% for three, and 20% for four, and it comes off automatically at the checkout. That's how Lorraine's burgundy ended up in the same order as my second one, a light blue for summer. You can also split the payment with Afterpay, which my daughter-in-law swears by.
Shipping was free with Australia Post, tracked and insured, and there's a money-back guarantee if it isn't right. That's what got me to press the button, because I was quite certain I'd be sending it back. I wasn't.
true to size
every size
Australia-wide
If you're 55, or 62, or 70, and there's a "fine" dress in your wardrobe that's been to every occasion for the last fifteen years, this is the one I'd hand you myself, while your colour and size are still there. Get out of the edge of the photo. The middle is lovely.
Maggie
Jilliann™ Maxi Dress
Buy 2 save 10% · Buy 3 save 15% · Afterpay available
- Soft ruching that defines the waist
- Flowing floor-length maxi skirt
- Soft, breathable fabric for warm days
- Graceful sleeveless silhouette
- Weddings, evenings, celebrations and long lunches
- 6 colours · sizes S to 4XL · true to size
- FREE shipping Australia-wide & money-back guarantee
Spring sale on now, while stocks last.
About the writer. Maggie Whitfield is 62 and lives in Perth with her husband Ray, a lemon tree that produces more than they can eat, and a standing Thursday coffee with Lorraine. She worked as a dental receptionist for twenty-six years and is now, in her own words, "saying yes to things."
This page is an advertisement for Perth Boutique. Individual experiences may vary. Perth Boutique · Free shipping Australia-wide · Money-back guarantee.